I am Exceptional

27 01 2010

Please watch the film first:

 

El moshkela akid mesh fel nas, el moshkela akid fik (the problem is not with the people, the problem has got to be with me). If you believe that then you better kill your self and get done with it!

I was watching an independent film at a culture center when those words were said. The film was called "Unclaimed" or (lam yostadal 3la 3enwan). It’s about a lonely middle aged man who had no friends and lived alone. He worked in a government office where had no friendly colleagues either and even people doing their affairs in the office he worked in didn’t go to his desk but headed to his colleagues. Nobody asked about him, cared how he was doing, called him, or even wrote to him. He felt depressed and started wondering for the reason.

He even started writing him self letters and mailing them to his address. The letters were returned to his work as Unclaimed. The more the letters the more the Unclaimed the more the depression. He decided to call himself and leave a message on the answering machine that always told him that he had no new messages but the number was out of service! He headed to his own street and building asking the people around for himself, but "nobody lives here with this name" or "never heard of him" came the answers.

That’s when he thought "the problem is not with the people, the problem had to be me" you might as well throw your self off the balcony! I always believed that there’s a critical point of return where a person shouldn’t let him self reach. Just before that point one should have a pause, a moment of silence then a blast for something crazy, something new, something cheerful that would make me feel there’s still hope. i should be myself, normal, my own normal, the normal that’s normal for me, away from stereotypes and standardizm. Hell no!

The problem is not with me. I cope with people the way they are and they should accept me the way i am and have the tolerance to live with me as i with them. But if you reach the point where you despise yourself and your life you will try to change, then you will try to change. The uncomfortable zone! You can’t live as other people just because the majority are like that. It’s not comfortable. You were not brought up like that, and you can’t change in days what was planted for years. You can’t go back either, because once you leave it in despise it despises you too. Rejects you when ever you come near it, and that’s where you feel lost in between.

The search for the soul.

Sit with yourself. Talk to her. Respect her, she deserves that, and she will respect you in return.

Know where you are. You can even write a list of demands. Give yourself time to find itself.

Now go out and start shopping. Shop for you list. Search for what you want and don’t let go till you find it. Go to new places where nobody "normal" would go that’s where you will find your match.

I AM HAPPY TO BE EXCEPTIONAL, HOW ARE YOU?

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Confessions of an Ex-Feminist

18 11 2009

To Be a Woman

By Lamya Sadeq

Business Management & Self Development – Egypt

– Am I a woman?
– No, I am not questioning my gender.

– What I mean is…

Do I think of myself in that sense? Do I use that word, proudly, when referring to – or even thinking of myself?

Growing up, I was your regular tomboy. I did not play girl games, and I did not own dolls either. I did not wear dresses unless I was dragged to a wedding or a family function. I did not like to let my hair grow long.

Come to think of it, I did not have many girl friends all the way through college.

I did not wear makeup. Umm … I did not own makeup was more like it. I viewed the attempts of some girls to be understanding, cute, feminine, compassionate, and my best-friends to be a true testament to the shallowness of women. I used to pride myself on the fact that I talk like guys, think like they do, and even shop like they do (Go to the mall – Enter only one store – Buy what I need – Get out in less than 30 minutes)

However, as fate would have it, I grew out of it, because I learnt to embrace who I am. It was very strange being aware of the fact that I am now proud to be a woman. Actually I am thankful to be a woman. Wait… I am thrilled to be a woman.

I learnt that being a woman does not mean that I have to talk too much, wear makeup, alienate myself from my beliefs and causes or ‘Oooh’ and ‘Ahh’ over every passing baby (I mean, really… Leave the babies and their mothers alone for God’s sake!!!!)

Transformation

I began to realize that I was force-fed an idea of what makes a woman. I realize now, sadly, that pop-culture has had a huge impact on shaping my ideals and notions on many gender-related concepts. I never thought that I would be a poster-image of the magnitude of damage pop-culture (stereotypical, negative, untrue, agenda-based and sexist) can have on one’s life.

I was blown away by the recognition that I let myself be manipulated into becoming ashamed of who I was. I kid you not!!!!! I was furious and shocked at how much I have missed out on.

So, I did what I thought was the only right thing to do in light of the circumstances; I went back to my most trusted reference, my belief system.

– What do I know of how Allah (SWT) views women?

– How did Allah (SWT) refer to us in the Qur’an?

– Were we viewed as shallow beings?

– Were we viewed as objects of enjoyment?

– Were we viewed merely as mothers or wives?

Answers to those questions have filled volumes of books. I will not attempt to further educate myself or you (who I am sure are all more knowledgeable than yours truly) on the empowerment of women in Islam.

"I’ve been a woman for a little over 50 years and I have gotten over my initial astonishment. As for conducting an orchestra, that’s a job where I don’t think sex (gender) plays much part." Nadia Boulanger, conductor.

"I have seen too much not to know that the impression of a woman may be more valuable than the conclusion of an analytical reasoner." Sir, Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

{O mankind, We have created you a male and female, and appointed you races and tribes, that you may know one another} (Sura al-Hujurat 49: 13)


Lamya Sadeq is a qualified expert in the field of international business development, and information systems. As well as holding a Masters in Training and Development, Lamya Sadeq runs courses and workshops in aspects of Islamic self development and outreach, as well as workshops in business development.

For the original article click here