Lonely Day

10 02 2010

System of a down – Lonely Day Lyrics

Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
The most loneliest day in my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It’s a day that I can’t stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Shouldn’t exist
It’s a day that I’ll never miss
Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
It’s a day that I am glad I survived.


I am Exceptional

27 01 2010

Please watch the film first:


El moshkela akid mesh fel nas, el moshkela akid fik (the problem is not with the people, the problem has got to be with me). If you believe that then you better kill your self and get done with it!

I was watching an independent film at a culture center when those words were said. The film was called "Unclaimed" or (lam yostadal 3la 3enwan). It’s about a lonely middle aged man who had no friends and lived alone. He worked in a government office where had no friendly colleagues either and even people doing their affairs in the office he worked in didn’t go to his desk but headed to his colleagues. Nobody asked about him, cared how he was doing, called him, or even wrote to him. He felt depressed and started wondering for the reason.

He even started writing him self letters and mailing them to his address. The letters were returned to his work as Unclaimed. The more the letters the more the Unclaimed the more the depression. He decided to call himself and leave a message on the answering machine that always told him that he had no new messages but the number was out of service! He headed to his own street and building asking the people around for himself, but "nobody lives here with this name" or "never heard of him" came the answers.

That’s when he thought "the problem is not with the people, the problem had to be me" you might as well throw your self off the balcony! I always believed that there’s a critical point of return where a person shouldn’t let him self reach. Just before that point one should have a pause, a moment of silence then a blast for something crazy, something new, something cheerful that would make me feel there’s still hope. i should be myself, normal, my own normal, the normal that’s normal for me, away from stereotypes and standardizm. Hell no!

The problem is not with me. I cope with people the way they are and they should accept me the way i am and have the tolerance to live with me as i with them. But if you reach the point where you despise yourself and your life you will try to change, then you will try to change. The uncomfortable zone! You can’t live as other people just because the majority are like that. It’s not comfortable. You were not brought up like that, and you can’t change in days what was planted for years. You can’t go back either, because once you leave it in despise it despises you too. Rejects you when ever you come near it, and that’s where you feel lost in between.

The search for the soul.

Sit with yourself. Talk to her. Respect her, she deserves that, and she will respect you in return.

Know where you are. You can even write a list of demands. Give yourself time to find itself.

Now go out and start shopping. Shop for you list. Search for what you want and don’t let go till you find it. Go to new places where nobody "normal" would go that’s where you will find your match.


Game Over

16 01 2009

“kol ma aksab el computer yekteb Game Over

Hany Ramzy said this sentence stupidly in the movie "Gawaz Be Karar Gomhoury”. Some found it funny, some didn’t. But for me, it has sounded differently, as many things lately have.

It has triggered a couple of questions in my head; do we always lose when the computer writes “Game Over”? Aren’t we real winners sometimes?

It depends on personality and how a person takes loss or winning.

A lot of Game Over’s were written on me screen, a lot of halting, and a lot of disconnections too. My response was never the same. Maybe sometimes I didn’t care much about that game, others were really hard to accept. But what I’ve learned and decided to live by is never to stop at a “Game Over”.

FACT 1: I’m alive.

FACT 2: Game Over’s exist.

RESULT: Life has to be lived despite of any Game Over’s.

Accepting loss is part of winning; maybe you lost this battle but never let yourself lose the war.

Accepting loss is the first step in winning the war, acceptance and learning from your mistakes, identifying the weak points and strengthening them, thinking positively about that loss and not letting yourself sink into grief over it. All these things help you move on and start stronger.

But there’s always the human nature that defeats all theories, we are humans after all. But even that we can control. I believe we should let our grief take time, but not too much time, or it would turn into depression.

“Every day was there to be lived or to mark one’s departure from this world,” Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

A little bit confused, isn’t it?!

P.S. (to myself): don’t think a lot about a post or it would lose its dynamic.